Where are you?
by fakeditfromthewordgo
Summary: Post-FANG. Max's feelings straight after the 2cnd epilogue. Spoilers, don't read if you haven't read FANG. Drabble.


**A/N: Just a little drabble-y one-shot inspired by From Where You Are by Lifehouse. (:**

You know, it's weird.

I guess I thought that maybe, just maybe, I'd get my happily ever after. In the end, at least. After the whole world-saving thing, that I'd get to live with a normal life with the people I loved.

Especially the one I loved the most.

Maybe it's just God's sick joke. Give the bird kid a little taste of what she wants, make her crave it, then take it away.

Take Fang away from me.

And I'd never admit it, but I miss him. A lot. As you can probably tell.

The whole saving the world? I'll tell you something. It didn't seem quite so impossible with Fang at my side. Maybe just because, no matter what he thought, his love really did make me stronger, in a way.

So my thoughts were incoherent around him. It didn't really matter, because with him there, nothing was so hard as it was made out to be.

Saving the world on my own?

Impossible.

Saving the world with the flock minus Fang?

Hard.

Saving the world with the whole flock, including Fang?

Possible.

I used to see him every day. He was my right-wing man. Literally. I could always confide in him. Sure, I could tell Nudge and Angel things, but it's not the same.

I love them to pieces and if anyone lays a freaking hand on them, I'll give them hell, but... sometimes, I just need Fang to know I'm not going insane.

I even miss the little things. The way he'd take my hand reassuringly when we were in some freak-inhabited enclosed area. The way he'd hold me so tight it felt like he was holding the pieces of me together. The way he always seemed to know what I was thinking. The way he smiled at me, like the world was somehow brighter by the upturning of his mouth.

You'd never think they'd mean everything to me now.

It's weird, being so... weak. Over a person. I'm Maximum Ride: I'm _meant _to be strong, brimming with leaderness. Hell, I _have _to be strong, for my flock. And now?

One person's practically tearing me apart.

Missing him is what's going to kill him.

I wish he was here.

I wish he'd hold me again.

I wish I could feel the beating of his heart.

I wish I knew he was safe.

I wonder if he's somewhere, missing me too.

I wonder if it's tearing him apart.

...I wish he was here.

It feels like he's further than a few days worth of flying. It feels like we're worlds apart, now. Maybe he's living on Mars, with some pretty Marsvillian with red hair. Maybe he's with Brigid with a polar bear for a pet.

I have nothing against polar bears.

Angel keeps knocking. I wonder if she's reading my thoughts.

The scary thing? I don't even freaking care if she is.

I can't seem to stay still. One minute I'm out in the sky, flying and crying (that rhymes. Huh.), the next I'm lying on my bed just thinking. Just missing him. Sometimes I even scream his name. It just rips out of my chest, like it's part of the weight on it.

But it never lightens. No matter how much I cry, or scream, or think, it just... it just seems to get heavier, and heavier with every day. Every hour.

Hell, how many days has it even been? We're losing so much time here. All because my heart's broken.

I used to laugh at the girls in movies who turned into wrecks after a boy left them. I mean, a boy could never be everything, could he? No one could do that to you without your permission.

Now I know just how much it hurts. And it freaking _hurts. _

Nudge keeps asking if I want to talk about it. And I don't. Because sometimes, I guess talking just makes it that much worse. We have this weird habit of talking everything to death, in the hope that it'll make it better, when really, it just makes it worse.

And I don't think I could handle it getting any worse.

You know, it's weird.

How someone so far away can hurt you so much.

How wishing someone was with you can hurt more than they leave in the first place.

I wish he was here, though.

I miss him.

**R&R?**


End file.
